I thought the best things in life were supposed to inspire me.
-VC
Archive for Education
RnR
I’ve been pretty sick lately, my days filled with various different ailments. I was thinking that something was seriously wrong with me and that I’d probably croak soon, but now I’m realzing that I’m just stressed out. And anxious. And frustrated. And in the need of a vacation. Really bad.
Some time in the sun. A place of fun. Blah, blah, blah.
I will probably pick up drinking coffee again. Ah, sweet relapse.
But it all seems worth it because I’m taking one of those classes that changes who you are and your perspective of the world you’ve known, where you can actually feel your brain growing smarter and your heart beating harder.
-VC
plans
I used to make plans like crazy because I’m super organized and I like to keep things order. But I’ve learned (the hard way, of course) that no person can plan all aspects in their life because the universe just doesn’t work that way. It is inevitable that there will be unexpected obstacles and changes or that you’ll grow and your plans just won’t make much sense anymore.
Growing up is hard, and I, personally, have much more to do. And life is having a great time throwing me nothing but fast balls. But good people have told me recently that I will not be given anything I can’t handle. And someone else told told me once that without that bad, the good doesn’t feel as good.
I used to look at some people in my life and wonder how the hell they got to be so good, so smart, so ambitious, so wise. Now, I see that they’ve been through it all, never gave up, and finished stronger than before. One day, I’ll be there too.
So, I’ll continue making new plans, even though for a while I whole-heartedly decided against doing so. And I won’t make the same mistakes again because I know the difference now.
-VC
…and I wish I could date Emile Hirsch.
yes
A day that felt like a Saturday.
Felt so good, yet so bizzare.
Today I briefly partcipated in a conversation about higher education. I’m not sure why I always defend it. Probably because I spent such an extensive part of my life pursuing it, and I’d feel like a fool if I agreed it was useless.
I could go on and on (and on) about how the world will treat me better because I know more about how to approach it but I won’t. That’s not what this blog is for. I have another one for that kind of nonsense. Ha.
I guess what I took away from the conversation is that a.) education made me a better person, and I don’t really care if someone else would disagree. Go ahead, watch your Discovery channel, read articles, whatever you think will make you smarter, I don’t know. b.) I’ve had an overwhelmingly amount of good fortune and love in my life and c.) I’ve done nothing about it. I’ve got little to show for it.
I’m not happy where I’m at. I’m stagnant. I’ve got to get moving. I was given the hammer, the nails, the wood, and the will. Now, it’s time to build that house.
Back to the blueprints.
-VC
long distance
I came here because of my family. It was them who made the offer, it was them who gave me the initial push. And that was all I needed.
So, I am here now, in Austin, Texas, loving it, but loving San Antonio even more.
In a week, I have learned about a different culture – even if it is just an hour away from another I have known. I’ve learned even more great things about Austin, but luckily, I’ve learned and experienced things that are equally disheartening. And that’s amazing. I can’t wait to learn something else.
I am so lucky.
And my college education, my parents, my friends, my background, life, and demeanor have better prepared me to live among so many others. For that I am truly grateful because I can stand at attention. And now I anxiously await whatever life and people throw at me.
I’ve never been so excited in my life.
-VC
the Missing Story of Ourselves
I attended a lecture given by Vivyan Adair at UTSA today. Aside from being really inspirational, it was extremely educational. Dr. Adair was very informative. I mean, crazy informative. She spoke really quickly so that she could get out all the information she wanted – and needed – to give. And she had all the necessary information to persuasively and effectively make her point including: statistical information, personal anecdotes, photographs, theoretical diagrams, and the story of her own journey. All these elements, in conjunction with her own feminist perspective, really did it for me. Overall, I valued the lecture on both academic and personal levels.
The downside of attending this lecture was that it did not directly inspire me to behave as I should. In fact, I became overwhelmed when I began to think again about the problems of this country, and then i began to feel as if I’ve let myself – and all those who believe in me – down. Down, down, down. Lower than I could possibly get right now, if that’s even possible. And the subjects of Dr. Adair’s project really put woman like me to shame. Shame on me. For not pushing myself to truly succeed. Shame on me, for not being all that I could be. For finding inspiration only in the accomplishments of others, in those that I love, or in those that gave me my name and my sense of being. Shame on you, Vanessa, for not finding the motivation to believe in yourself.
Hopefully, with time, lectures like the one I attended today will not only directly inspire me to do more but will also one day reflect my own life, my own accomplishments, and make me beam, not hunch over.
I have not lost focus on what the lecture was attempting to do – to bring attention to the poverty of women in the US, the glass ceilings, the welfare policies that so badly need reform, and the benefits of higher education – but I have once again been reminded of another element of society that I must focus on. Me. Maybe a few years too late, but better late than never.
-VC
Coming Soon….Review of Missing Story of Ourselves on the Reviews page. 
